“My life is so dull, mum. It’s like a plain piece of white A4 size paper, half-tucked in one those trays you find at an office.”
“What do you mean by you are a plain piece of white A4 size paper? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not being ridiculous. That IS the most common type of paper you can find anywhere. And I’m just a carbon copy of that. There is nothing special or unique about me, mum. I’m so…common. And now, I’m honestly feeling tired of being tossed around from person to person. Eventually, I’ll end up in a bin or worse, on someone’s desk, together with other spare pieces of paper, waiting to be used and tossed into a bin! What a vomit-inducing sight!”
“Well, for a start, comparing yourself to a piece of paper isn’t going to go down on your self-esteem very well.”
At this point, I feel a…snap. Her comments aren’t helping me because I’m sick and tired of fitting into this life! It’s stifling me day by day. I don’t want this regularity. My body aches of complying. My mind drifts in other directions but I’m helpless. I just can’t walk out of my job unless I have a hefty sum sitting comfortably in my bank like a fat kid seated on his favourite sofa.
“You youngsters need to understand that, in life, you don’t always get the job you want or the money you wish to earn. At some point in your life, you will feel like you have no choice and you might just be unlucky enough not to have a choice.”
“So you’re saying, I should suck it up and just take this shit?”
“I’m saying that you can either be an A4 sized plain paper for the rest of your life or you can grab that piece of paper, add some drawings and see yourself morphing into a beautiful pattern. If you do that, you will see yourself flying above the height you expected to soar. And when you soar, you will realize that you are one heck of an important piece that everyone needs. Be happy that you’re not literally a paper. Pick yourself up and be of use.”
That night, I felt like I was being thrown off my seat. Am I going to fool myself to be positive when I knew that deep down I was lost…But maybe, just maybe, when one’s lost, they will do all that it takes, to find themselves back. She could be right.
