May we never forget the day Singapore had a sense of humour. The letter “Unsafe to sew on train” has attracted quite a following, after the comments section exploded with comments more spectacular than this year’s SG50 fireworks display.
Before this gets lost in cyberspace, we’ve decided to immortalise the top replies. Someone give them a cookie!
Ouch, burn.
I once saw someone on the train reading the Straits Times. I am concerned that the quality of forum posts might actually make someone hit the emergency button and demand that a higher level of professionalism in mainstream media.
G. Perkins
Why ah?
Recently I came across this auntie not minding her own business inside an MRT train. And I thought this was very dangerous.
I suggested to the auntie that she should mind her own business inside the confines of a moving train. She replied she had been not minding her own business while riding in MRT trains for a long time.
If the train jerks or lurches as trains normally do, and this auntie sways into the direction of any number of other commuters, her nosiness could be propelled towards them causing grievous bodily harm or at minimal the type of persistent irritation that makes people want to stab themselves with a blunt 2B pencil just to numb the pain.
By the way, why do hot dogs come in packs of ten and hot dog buns come in packs of 8?
V. Teo
The debate continues…
I once saw a man who was seated in the train and totally asleep. If the train lurches or jerks, I’m afraid he might wake up and in a fit of shock and rage for suddenly being jolted awake, he may punch the guy beside him which may result in serious injury and trauma for those around them.
By the way, which is better? Pepsi or Coke?
S. Pragasm
Philosophy.
I came across a man in the train with a shirt not fully buttoned, revealing a bit of his chest. I thought this was rather dangerous. The train may lurch sometimes and the sudden jerk might cause the rest of the buttons on his shirt to fall off out of shock and his shirt would slip off his body, exposing the man’s half-nakedness to the other commuters surrounding him. This could result in complete and utter chaos in the car, as passengers — in a state of panic — would try to shield their eyes from such an indecent sight. Mothers would scream, children would cry and some aunties might fight each other to take photos.
By the way, what circumstances warrant unwarranted circumstances?
N. Nadhra
Hmm…
I saw a guy picking at his teeth with his fingernails once. I thought that this was very dangerous. An accidental bump from a commuter or a lurching of the train could cause him to cut his gum and bleed al over the floor. As a paying traveller, I have every right to demand that this slippery and unhygienic hazard of a blodspattered cabin is removed from my presence. It is also unsightly, imagine if there was a foreign Minister taking the train as some of our own occasionally do to pretend to care? Could we upkeep our world-class image?
By the way, how do you tame a horse in minecraft?
B. Gan
The mining industry.
I once saw a man digging for precious metals through his nostrils once. I worry that if the train jerks and lurches, as trains normally do, that precious cargo he is so engrossed in excavating, would flung out and hit one of the friendly neighbourhood passenger, especially me. I gently urge him to conduct his mining activity elsewhere but he replied that he had been doing this for years without any warning from the authority. I respect his subtle way of telling me, “go fark yourself”.
By the way, anyone plays Star Wars Battleground on pc and wana add me?
S. Ng
Only time will tell.
I once saw a man on a train, he was wearing a watch, and his hand was not secured in his pocket. I informed him that it is dangerous to wear a watch on a train but he told me he had done so for many years and continued to leave his arm unsecured.
There were passengers standing either side of him.
If the train were to sway or lurch in the direction of another commuter his watch could cause physical abuse to them or if the train were to stop suddenly the glass face may smash and cause lacerations.
I also believe the battery inside such watches is made from lead acid which is a hazardous substance.
By the way, what circumstances warrant topping up my ez-link card?
C. Jensen
Vampires.
recently, i came across a schoolgirl laughing with an open mouth in the train. And i thought this was very dangerous. The train lurch sometimes and if she is laughing at a commuter in the direction of the lurch, she could be propelled towards the commuter and sink her teeth into his neck, this may cause extreme bleeding and waste all that blood, which unless if she is from twilight, that would be fine, but nevertheless that might cause bloody mess and inconvenience to the other commuters.
By the way, is there a button where i can eject people out the train if it is always too full?
R. Poh
Never ever wear tie clips.
I saw a man wearing a tie with a clip that was not secured to his shirt. I worry that if the train jerks and lurches, as trains normally do, the tie may be flung left or right of that inconsiderate man. As you can imagine the swing of a tie pivoted to the neck of the man happens to be the perfect angle for the unsecured tie pin to stab the eyes of commuters sitting next to him.
By the way, when I depart a train, I wonder if I should step out with my left or right foot.
I. Chioh
And the most epic comment goes to…
I saw a guy swaying to music once. And I thought this was very dangerous. The trains lurch sometimes and if he sways in the direction of the lurch he could be propelled forward into another commuter who would then be rammed into one of the poles, breaking his neck, or back, or even cracking his skull. If he misses the pole, he might find himself propelled out the window, causing other commuters to fall out the window with him.
T. Ismail
Baby sway with me. (Michael Bublé approves)
