I’m a dude. And goddamn, it is so hard to find a guide to dates written from a guy’s perspective. One of the toughest plans a guy might have to come up with their entire life will be for their first date. Some guys might find the thought of it daunting, while the others can be really adept at it. But what do girls think? I discussed this topic with some female friends of mine and came up with some tips for all my brothers who need some help in acing their first date!
Location – Do your research. If you’re going out for a meal, know what types of cuisines the girl likes or dislikes. Put in the effort to do some research and pick a good place for a meal. It should have a decent ambience but not too expensive. There are girls who prefer cafes, there are some who prefer restaurants, and others who wouldn’t even mind a hawker centre, if it’s known for good food. Know her preferences. If it is too extravagant, it can end up being intimidating for her, not to mention deadly on your wallet. Don’t overdo it. If you are going for a picnic or some outdoor plans, it can be a little tricky due to weather conditions and what they think about it. One thing’s for sure: Do not ever ask her to come to your place. What is this, a booty call?
Duration of date – Try to go for half a day. The most common and accepted timing would be from an early dinner onwards. A short and memorable date makes it easier for you to score a second date, rather than a long and draggy one that can turn out to be really tiring by the end of the day. Short and simple does it.
What to do? – I received a wide variety of suggestions from different girls by this juncture, with the majority being a dinner. The girls agreed that they prefer a slightly longer dinner. So do pick a place that allows you to have some conversation. No blaring music or noisy families please, perhaps somewhere with a cheerful hum of conversation in the background. Pin-drop silence only serves to make any lapses in your conversation seem all the more daunting. They would like to get to know you more, and hope that you can do the same. And I mean really listen to them. Many guys hear without listening and look without seeing. Listen to her. Get to know her! Try not to be nervous. Many guys can suddenly not know what to talk about. If the girl is kind enough to continue talking about her stories or the topic at hand, then good for you. However, some girls can be slightly less talkative on a first date if they do not know you well enough yet. At this point you will need to steer the conversation. Try to get to know their interests and their hobbies. If you know something about their interests and able to hold a conversation with them about it, it is a major bonus! Do not panic and tell yourself there are no topics to talk about. Sitting in front of you is someone who have a ton of stories to tell, and so do you. Even if you run out of topics about yourself, you can always point out something about your surrounding and tell her an interesting story about it, be it about yourself or your friends.
Plans after dinner can include a stroll, shopping, or a movie. If you really end up shopping with the girl, offer some constructive and sincere comments. If you just blindly agree and tell them they look nice in everything, they will be able to tell. And we all know how scary a girl’s sixth sense can be. Worst possible thing to do is also to sit down somewhere and text your friends while they are shopping. It shows a complete lack of interest in them and probably at this point you lost the shot at a second date. If you are not used to shopping with girls, please don’t do it.
Either way it’s always important to know what interesting spots there are nearby and how to get there. Never get stumped and be at a loss on what to do next, ending up wandering around aimlessly.
Bonus: If she is the type that would like a picnic, try and be the one to prepare the food. Honestly picnic food is not hard to prepare. Put some effort into it. If you can prepare the food for her, it is a major plus point.
Paying for Meal – Yes please offer to pay at least. It’s the thought that counts. The girl usually objects (out of courtesy, if not principle), you can always tell her that she can pay the next time you have dinner together. (Boom! You got yourself a second date. You smooth operator.) However if your financial situation does not allow you to do that then please be honest and not hide it. If you meet a girl who really wants to go dutch, then please do not fight with her over the bill. The most important part is still the offer and the thought.
Sending her home – This is a tricky question. You will need to know the girl well enough. It never hurts to offer. At this point they will usually reject the offer. 100% of the time. However at this point you have to know if they are just declining out of courtesy or they really do not find it appropriate. Different girls come from different backgrounds and they can have different thoughts about this.
If she is merely declining out of courtesy, then just insist on it. You will realise that they will start giving in. From a firm no, to a “But isn’t it very troublesome for you?” If you hear that, please never say that it is troublesome. Insist that it’s no trouble and you want to ensure she reaches home safely/get to talk to her more. Usually if a girl is interested in you, she would want to spend more time with you too.
However if the girl is really uncomfortable with it, do not force the idea on her. You can back off graciously and probably get her to drop you a text when she reaches home. That works as well.
Final Advice: Be a gentleman. Hold the door for her. Hold the lift door. Check if she’s cold in the mall. But be sincere. Girls can sniff out insincerity from miles away. Even if you forget about everything you’ve read, this is probably the most important: Treat her with sincerity. Don’t do things for the sake of doing them or just to look good.
*note: All the above has been tried and tested. 🙂 Good luck!
