Chopsticks. Bamboo Pole. Stick. Chicken legs. It sounds as if I’m shopping in Chinatown, but I’m not. It’s just a list of nicknames I’ve been called because I’m… skinny. Here’s something to all my homies who are on the skinny van too.

Well, Chinese New Year is fast approaching… and it’s that dreaded time for New Year Shopping, again. Shopping was a breeze in the 90s. Baggy clothes were the in-thing, and frankly, everything I put on looked baggy. I would have probably gotten away with wearing a tablecloth – oh, sorry, my t-shirt too big haha. However, due to the recent worldwide shortage of textile and denim, we’re into the trend of skinny and slim clothing now.

Determined to be in-trend this CNY, I headed to a department store, where they actually have XS-sized clothing. It’s H&M, don’t say I bojio. I picked out a few pieces of clothing I thought looked great! But alas, upon entering the fitting room, even XS-sized clothes weren’t a match for my small-frame…
Let’s start with the T-shirts. I chose a nice printed tee with a nice design in the centre. It looked really nice on the mannequin. Once I put it on, I realised the design was way bigger – so much so it was wrapping around my sides. Nope, not working out. It’s ok, I just saved me $29.90. Hur hur.

(Left: On display, Right: On me)

Then I went on to a nicely textured shirt for work. Its tag read ‘Slim Fit’ on top of the XS label. I have high hopes for this one. AND IT WAS PERFECT – for five seconds. I soon noticed that the shirt was long. Really long. It would have been perfect for someone who’s 175cm, but I’m only 170cm. I guess that’s why they call it a dress shirt… because it looks like a dress.

(Left: On display, Right: On me)

Lastly, I went on to try a new pair of skinny jeans. This can’t go wrong. It’s skinny jeans! If it doesn’t fit skinny people, then their marketing’s all wrong! Well… if it’s a crime, somebody call the fashion police! Apparently, skinny jeans didn’t fit either. The pants actually looked like straight cut jeans on me. Sigh!

(Left: On display, Right: On me)

So I exited the store, bracing myself for the festive dinners ahead. You know how everyone complains that they’re being questioned about their singlehood during dinners? The only worse thing than that is…

“Eat more, eat more, you need to put on more weight…”

So anyway, if you happen to have any secret shops with clothing that fits – leave a comment below! Also, don’t worry if the clothes at the store don’t fit you – they’re mass made anyway. Stay true to who you are, if you’re skinny and plan to hit the gym, do it because you want to be healthy, and not because you just want to look a certain way. You’re born an original, don’t die a copy!

P.S.: author is a male, 170cm and weighs 50kg on most days.