Chinese New Year is just around the corner and it is a big deal. The largest racial population in the world is about to get turned up and we need to be informed. Chinese New Year is in line with the lunar calendar and it really is quite an amazing time of the year. It’s not like I am an expert but I have survived enough Chinese dinners to know, more or less, what to do to survive (not excel). This is the Filipino’s guide to Chinese New Year.
1. Meeting the family
So there might be times when you are invited over for dinner with your friend and his or her extended family. Now me being a little paranoid, I get very jumpy about what to do or what not to do. It’s as if I am going to marry the dude.
They recognize you’re not rolling with the yellow skin so just relax.
2. Follow the leader
No matter how many times I go for dinner, I always wait for the oldest person on the table to eat first. Think of them as your sensei. If you touch that abalone before them, you damn well APOLOGISE before you cause any more DISRESPECT. Even when they tell me to eat first, I hesitate and do that, “Oh, it’s okay, you go first” strategy just to test whether they actually want you to eat first. In my case, they were all genuine but I need to be sure.
3. Filipinos resist the urge to sweep the floor
I am joking, of course but if you are feeling this itch in the back of your hand to be extra polite and clean up their floor for them because they have been such good hosts, you are signing your own death wish. Sweeping the floor during Chinese New Year is a huge hell no because to them, it means you are sweeping all the good luck away and trust me, you do not want to sweep away a Chinese family’s luck. #dishonour
4. Oranges
Bring mandarin oranges not that Sunkist stuff (shout out to the orange juice). You can tell which is which because mandarin oranges are a little flatter than normal oranges which are more spherical. Imagine a stack of pancakes that is a little rounded on the side and splashed with a layer of orange frosting. If you still cannot tell, just buy a few and eat one. They are a little sweeter and the pieces are smaller. Please remember to bring two for exchange. They might say it’s fine if you forget but that’s just DISRESPECT. #dishonouronyou
5. The Treats
Every Chinese person would have treats laid out in their living rooms for guests to eat. Pineapple Tarts, Bak Kwa, Shrimp Rolls and the list can go on and on. These treats are usually available all year but Chinese New Year makes them so much more delicious. Why? Probably because, like all holidays, calories and health matter don’t matter and when you free from the shackles of heart disease, no one can stop you. I usually don’t reach for the snacks until I am told to because if you do… #dishonouronyourcow
6. The Redder the Better
Try to wear red when you visit houses during this period because Red is believed to scare away evil spirits and bad fortune and if you play your part in helping a Chinese family do that, #honour. Even if you don’t have red in your closet, just wear anything but black and white.
7. Make your own plans on the first day
If you think that you can hang out with your Chinese friends on the first day, you are in for a lonely day. The first day of Chinese New Year is usually family only and you would be hard pressed to find someone who would risk being disowned just to go to the only ice cream place open in town with you.
8. The Red Packet
So, in case you have been living deep, deep in the forests of Jalan Bahar, you would know that you are bound to receive a red packet. Now, let’s not kid ourselves. Some of you sneaky people low-key wrangle an invitation to your friend’s house just so you can get these. I can’t really blame you, I mean, there is no holiday within the year that would require people to give me free money BUT please, there is more to this beautiful period than just the money.
