As the glass door slid open automatically, a rush of icy wind engulfed me – this scent of the office that I would eventually grow to genuinely dislike. I would always remember that first day of work. I remember being overwhelmed by the high paced spectacle that was in front of me. Every single breathing human in the office was either moving around at a quick pace holding stacks of papers, typing furiously away on their computers, or engaged in serious discussions with colleagues. This was a place that expected results, not excuses. And definitely no slacking off. Fresh out of college, I was in no way prepared for this.

I approached the receptionist sitting behind a desk and engaged in a phone call, speaking quickly and writing down notes on a blank piece of paper. Unsure of what to, I waited in front of the desk, fiddling a little in my stilettos. Years of being a student ensured that I was as uncomfortable as anyone can get, trying to balance treacherously on my heels.

How does everyone make it seem so easy?

When the receptionist finally slammed down the receiver, she continued to scribble notes on her paper.

Without looking up, she barked, “Yes?”

Startled by the sudden address, I took a quick step forward toward the desk and leaned on the wooden furniture and tried my best to smile confidently, “Uh yes. I’m Samantha Goh? I am supposed to report for my first day of work. To a Mr Albert Tan.”

At that point, the receptionist, did glance up at me and then punched in a few numbers into the telephone and then spoke quickly, and threw the receiver back down again. Not five seconds later, I heard a quick footstep approaching and I spun around, at the same time nearly throwing myself off balance and risked spraining my ankle. Luckily I grabbed the desk in time and prevented myself from looking like an absolute fool on the first day of work, at the very first second, in front of my new boss.

I quickly took in this man walking toward me, and it was clear immediately that I would not be having an easy time at this job. With a thick moustache and a bulking figure, he stopped just a foot from me and towered over me. Like me, he was taking in what he’s seeing, glancing at me from head to toe. Just as I was starting to feel uneasy, he turned and beckoned me to follow him.

By lunchtime, I was swamped with paperwork of utmost importance, yet too tedious for any of the managers to be doing them. By the end of the first day, I was working overtime, and had already been yelled at twice for being slow. By the end of the first week, I was drained and emotional from the fatigue building up. There was no way I would be able to survive this job, I remember thinking. I thought back to those times as a student, and wished I was back in school in those boring lectures and texting my friends. In this cold office, not a single person extended their help to me, despite the entire office walking past me daily. Having to figure out everything on my own, I missed having a good laugh with friends or when my toughest worry was just the submission of school projects.

And that was when I met him for the first time.

Stepping out from his office, he let loose a laugh which made me look up from my pile of work. He was decked in a cerulean blue shirt, accompanied by a navy tie. He had the most beautiful smile that I have ever seen on any guy, as he seemed to take my breath away. My heart raced as he looked directly at me, whispered something into his phone, and then tucked his phone into his pocket. As he started walking toward me, I looked down at the paper I was holding and acted as though it was really interesting.
As he stopped right next to my table, I could not pretend any longer. Looking up, I was again taken aback by how charismatic he was. He exuded confidence even as he stood there, smiling at me like no one in this office ever did.

“What are you still doing in the office at this hour?” he smiled.

Not quite able to trust myself with words yet, I pointed at the papers sitting like a mountain.

He laughed and said, “Did Albert throw you all his work again? He always does this. Hi, I’m Alan.”

I took his handshake and pronounced my name quickly and smiled.

What devilry is this? Why am I behaving like this?

With an intent of getting comfortable, he rolled up his sleeve and pulled a chair over from the adjacent table with insouciant ease. Grabbing the stack nearest to him, he picked up a pen and started to write.

Startled, I started to object and he smiled, “It’s alright. I was once in your shoes too.”

Over the next hour, we started to chat, and I was surprised by how easy it was to converse with him. Turns out he just turned 30, and was married with a child. It was a shotgun marriage ten years ago. He joined the company the same time as Albert and worked his way up, displaying a certain rivalry toward each other.

He was everything that Albert was not.

Alan was humorous, gentle, and his smile is so charming that I had found myself unable to look at him directly. Over eight years older than me, he also displayed a certain level of maturity that I had never seen in my peers.

I felt like I could depend on him – the first person to lend me a helping hand in this hostile environment. When we were done, he offered to drive me home as it was getting late. Seeing my hesitation, he took my bag and started walking off, leaving me to scurry after him without much of a choice, but secretly elated.

Over the next few weeks, things at the office started to turn for the better. Despite the increasing workload the Albert was throwing to me, I would occasionally catch Alan throwing glances at me and making faces at an unsuspecting Albert.

Every night when the office quieted, Alan would come over to help me with my workload, and we would chat over some takeaway food and a mountainous pile of work. The very nightmare workload that wanted to make me quit this job was now the very reason I looked forward to work every day.

Our daily late night conversations was the highlight of my everyday life.

He was so understanding, and always seem to have excellent advice for me. When I told my friends about him, many warned me not to get too close to a married man, however, I was just making friends…right?

Two months after I started work there, it was my birthday. And of course, nobody seemed to care. Or even know, for that matter. Even Alan did not remember, much to my disappointment. He also dropped me a text message telling me that he would not be able to stay late that night. It was the worst birthday ever. As the office started to empty at around eight, I looked at the forms that I have yet to file, and heave a deep sigh, on the verge of tears.
Despite the constant stream of well wishes via text messages from my school friends, none of those messages did anything to lift my mood. I threw my pen onto the desk with a certain level of frustration and buried my face in my hands, in need of a short holiday more than ever. At that instant, the lights in the office went out and I gave a small shriek. Sitting in complete darkness, I took out my phone and pressed a key, instantly blinding me and illuminating my desk.

“Hello?” I called out into the darkness, unsure if I was hoping to hear a reply, or not to.

As I was staring intently around the office, I was wondering if I should take the risk of making my way toward the light switches in the dark. Standing up slowly, the chair creaked and I inhaled in quick successive breaths.

Every sound seemed to be amplified in this dark and silent office. The soft hum of the air-conditioning was all that I heard. Not even ten steps away from my desk, I heard a noise from behind me and whirled around quickly.

Startled, but with mixed with relief and emotions, I turned to see Alan, standing in the dark with a small cake in his hands, his handsome face illuminated by the single candle on the cake.

“Happy Birthday Samantha,” he whispered.

Voice trembling, I pointed at the table and said, “Put down the cake Alan.”

Curious at my subdued reaction, he placed it down onto the table and as he stood back up, I advanced towards him.

“That. Was. Scary. Do. Not. Do. That. Again. Asshole.” I enunciated, punctuating every word with a jab to his chest.

He laughed, obviously unfazed and he pulled me into his embrace I started to laugh as well, the tension draining out of my body as I teared slightly, relieved that it wasn’t not some office spectre coming to murder me and that someone actually did care about my birthday. After half a minute of laughing, it died away as I realised where I was.

I felt my face started to burn with embarrassment and I tried to step back from the circle of his embrace, but with little effect as he continued to hold me firmly. Looking up at him, I tried to speak but felt my throat tighten up when I realised how close he was.

In that tiny space illuminated by my phone which cluttered to the floor and the small candle on the cake, he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

It was like electricity flowing through me, and I never felt more alive. It never felt more right. I kissed him back furiously, realising for the first time how I really felt about him. In that dark office that night, I fell in love for the first time in my life.

———-end of first part———