I went to a boys only school. To be exact, I went to two boys only schools. For all 10 years of my primary and secondary school education, I was in the sole company of my brethren. As a result of my exclusive mingling with mah bros, I picked up many a behavioural trait; some of which, I’m not particularly proud enough today. Nevertheless, those 10 years are still what I consider halcyon days of yore: rich and full of vigour.
Here is a brief list of the infantile yet amusing acts we guys were capable of:
When I entered JC, and met other guys who were from mixed schools, I became convinced that we pure-breds were the true experts on the art of profanities. Don’t get me wrong, all guys do swear – unless you are one of those innocent goody two shoes , in which case, I believe your inadequacy in the swearing department is made up for with an expertise someplace else equally as disdainful – but our vocabulary is much richer than dem’ muggles.
Oh, I remember so fondly, the wave of excitement that rippled through my being upon learning my first hokkien swear word. I used it diligently to spruce up each and every of my conversations. There were new entries to the dictionary every year, and as we kids became seniors, we became proficient enough to string numerous hokkien swear words together, giving birth to melodic yet savage insults.
But we were still diamonds in the rough, raw and unpolished. Cue high school, as it added layers of intricacy and panache to our lexicon. Malay, Tamil, Cantonese words soon joined our ever-growing arsenal. Silently cursing at the teacher who gave too much homework was no longer an ‘eff him/her’ affair or ‘ccb’ affair, they were instead: artistically weaved sentences comprising different elements of our local vernacular. Each word or phrase built on the previous one, adding extra sting to the entire jibe.
All those poor teachers who were allocated lessons after recess! They were always in for a visual and olfactory treat when they stepped into class. I’m talking broomsticks fashioned as bamboo poles to hang our soiled uniform tops, and dishevelled boys emanating the foulest of smells.
Oh dear football… no other topic could wake people up more in the early pre-sunrise morning, when avid supporters of Manchester United and Liverpool would debate on whose team had a better performance over the weekend. No other sport got more approval than when it was announced as the programme for PE lesson. The football maestros in each class would step up as captains and then handpick their team. For the klutz I was on the pitch, I was always picked last. I was never really good at football but all the same, it was good fun watching my testosterone-charged classmates going at each other in the name of bragging rights.
I dare say it was never the same again when I left high school. Football was too brutal, and too gender unfriendly, and was no longer the PE sport of choice.
While the taupoks (pile-up for the singlish illiterate) and pants-pull down pranks were regular features in daily school life, the larger scale ones would come only as graduation approached; and oh boy were they epic!
My experience in particular was that of my class having a taupok hit list of schoolmates we disliked. This culminated in a memorable last day of school when we, an oversized group of 20 odd, ran, cornered and taupoked said individuals. This, however, was nothing in comparison to the pranks the ballsier upperclassmen carried out. I shan’t go too elaborate into the details of the pranks but I’ll say some involved defecating in places other than the toilet.
I think there was a collective sense of immunity knowing that our graduations were all the more secured as ‘O’ levels came closer. It really didn’t help that pranks were also cathartic.
I must add though, I do feel genuinely sorry for persons on the receiving end of the pranks, especially the school cleaner.
I can say with certainty that girls are in general, more hardworking than guys. We lot, really are a lazy bunch, save of course for the few ‘spoil market’ types.
There seemed to be a general unspoken understanding that a classmate’s intelligence was measured not just by his grades, but also by how disproportionately little he had studied to attain such grades.
I always envied the nonchalant guy who aced his tests and exams but always seemed to be dozing off in class.
We would get sent out of class, a sizeable number of us, for not finishing the weekend’s assignments. And outside, when the teacher had his or her back turned to us, we would smile and chuckle at one another, wearing our rebel statuses proudly on our sleeves. The lazier, the more badass we were.
Later, I did realise in JC, that the nonchalant guy was not so different after all. He had in fact, done most of his studying in private. To use the parlance of our generation, ‘closet mugging’ was something I honed thereafter.
But for what its worth, when reality did hit in secondary school, and most of us came to our senses closer to O levels, we really studied. And it still amazes me to this day the absolute magicians we became, pulling out from thin air bad-ass grades. I have a friend who jumped from 30 points in his preliminary exams to 7 for his O levels. Really really amazing.
I am technically in no position to comment on this considering my dry streak and cringe-worthy awkwardness with the opposite sex but my observations were that boys from boys only school would usually get together with girls from girls only schools.
I recall once being jioed by my friend to be a wingman for his date with a girl at Burger King. And I recall being super uncomfortable as he confidently went on about his day. I was mostly quiet and was just thankful to scurry off eventually and gotten through the entire experience.
This rant was probably the most irrelevant but you know hey, I’m hardly representative of this aspect of high school life. Just thought I added it in for good measure.
Unfortunately, the list prematurely ends here at fear of being chastised by my mates for revealing too many trade secrets. I do like to end on a classier note though:
What I would like to say is that beyond our childishness highlighted obviously for humorous effect, many of us are actually genuinely nice people; gentlemen, I may even add. There are many other aspects of boy’s school lives that people don’t necessarily see, that teach us to be better people. We are bold. We are competitive. We are strong-willed. Most of all, we are exciting and funny people.
One-off by:
Joshua Chan
“I am often sarcastic and critical but trust me, that aside, I’m a genuinely nice guy”
E-mail:joshua.chan.xiang.rong.2012@vjc.sg
