There is a new dynamic of traveller that has emerged in the previous few years

 The Pretentious Traveller. 

He stands, with GoPro in hand, on the top of unclimbed mountains, in the heart of unmapped forests, on uncharted islands in the middle of the ocean. He stands where no man has ever stood before. He treks where no man has ever trekked before. He urinates where no man has ever urinated before (or so he says). He claims an entirely unique and completely unrelatable experience on all of his journeys and, my God, he just can’t wait to tell you all about them.

Oh, you didn’t ask? Don’t worry, he can relate almost every dinner conversation back to that one time, in Cambodia. He’s got just the perfect monologue prepared:

 ’Funny you should say that about your mum, [un-travelled person], did I tell you about the time when I helped a tiger birth six cubs in the [insert foreign country here] rainforest? Oh, I did? Did I tell you that the locals named all of the cubs after me? I know, they called them all [insert pretentious traveller name here]! How sweet. I mean, this completely relates to the fact that your mum gave you a terrible name. Wait, what were we talking about? God, this just reminds me about this one time in [insert foreign country here], I got completely lost because I ran out of Wi-Fi from my shack of a hostel and I ended up on an island with crocodiles on it! I mean, I only took one wrong turn and whoa – it was insane! Man, [insert fellow pretentious traveller name here], do you remember when we climbed that waterfall in [insert foreign country here]? I know, right! It is an experience that we will literally never have again. I don’t know how you [un-travelled person] can just work! I mean, why work when you can be travelling! It really enlightens the soul, you know. You’re not really living life if you’re not travelling…’ 

Oh, you join in, I went there. It was really awesome. Did you go to [insert landmark here]?

 ‘What? Of course not! That place is so [add emphasis here] touristy – I just can’t stand tourists. Why would you want to go somewhere that has been so commercialised? You can’t get the real [add emphasis here] authentic experience in places like that. No, when I’m travelling, I only go places that are have been untouched by tourism [add emphasis here].’ 

How did this happen? If somebody travelled from Singapore to England, you would not hear other people who have also travelled to England exclaim,

Oh, you went to London? But that place is so touristy! No, when I went to England, I went to Swindon. You can only get the true, authentic native experience from places like Swindon.

When did everything become a competition?

With the number of people that are now on this planet, and with the amount of money that the average person-who-travels has, soon, nowhere on this Earth is going to be a unique, authentic experience. We are only able to experience the world because the world is getting metaphorically smaller, because planes are less expensive, because we are able to afford it, (for us lazy native English speakers) because many people can speak the same language. Please, people who travel, don’t force your views of travelling on those who do not ask for it. We will all experience the world around us differently, and in our own way.