In a few days’ time, I would be a quarter of a century. Throughout these years, I have learnt and experienced and witnessed many things – be it the happiness of marrying someone you love dearly, the pain of losing a loved one, the anticipation of moving on to another phase of life. Yet, all these experiences or lessons could not have been more impactful and enlightening than the one I have learnt and embraced recently – to celebrate what you have lost.
Many of us only choose to celebrate when something positive, happy or festive happens – a raise in salary, an addition to the family, a loved one getting married. We choose to mourn, mope around or work hard on forgetting what we have lost. Seldom would you see people celebrating for things, people, relationships that they have lost. After all, regardless of our religions, races and cultures, the word “lost” is often deemed as one that is filled with negativity. What is there to celebrate about something that is so negative?
That is where most of us are wrong. Let us view the things, people and relationships that we have lost from another perspective. What we have lost can teach us many things in many ways that you would not have expected it to, can allow us to discover more about ourselves and who we really are, and last but not least, can allow us to know more about the others.
Celebrate what you have lost because it teaches you to be a better person. I am sure this is relatable to many of you under various circumstances. When you have done badly for a test, your teachers or parents would have told you to not cry over spilt milk. They would have advised you to learn from your mistakes so that you would do better for the next examination and become a smarter person in the future. When you have lost in a competition, your friends would have advised you to not mope around over the loss. Instead, work on your weaknesses and become a stronger competitor the next time round. When you are being backstabbed by a “friend”, your loved ones would have told you to not cry over losing that “friend”. They would have warned you to be wiser in choosing your friends in the future. So, do we have to cry over things and people we have lost all the time? No, we do not. Celebrate over the fact that those things and people give us the chance to be stronger, to be wiser, and to be more cautious.
Celebrate what you have lost because it gives you the chance to know more about yourself. A year back, I was this close to getting a job that I have applied for and yet, after rounds and rounds of selection, I lost to the other candidate. Like many of you out there, I was upset. However, what I have learnt from this experience is that I am not vocal, not experienced and not confident enough. I believe many of you would have learnt something about yourself when you have lost something or someone – be it your weaknesses, your strengths or even, an unexpected talent that you have had all along. Celebrate over the fact that such experiences would lead you to a brighter future and a better life.
Celebrate what you have lost because it allows you to know who truly cares for you. I am sure many of you have cried badly when you are being dumped by your ex boyfriend/ girlfriend. Yet, through those experiences, you would have realised that your friends and families are the ones who truly care for you- your health, your emotional well-being, your happiness. The same goes for those who have lost your loved ones. Remember those who have stayed by you, mourned together with you, offered you their shoulders and hugs. They are the ones you would want to keep for the rest of your lives because they are treasures. Celebrate over the fact that through these tumultuous times, you have gained new insights into the truest form of friendship and familial ties.
“Every cloud has a silver lining”. Yes, this is cliché and believe me, I am not a person who loves clichés. Yet, it is hard to deny so after looking at the happenings around me for the past 20 over years. In many instances, whilst we have lost something or someone, we have also gained something or someone. All it takes is for you to look at the situation with a new perspective, a positive outlook and an embracing attitude.
